So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
