will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
