she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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