My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
