That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
