My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
