we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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