i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
