Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
