No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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