I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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