Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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