I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
