The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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