Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
