I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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