Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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