So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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