We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize