His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
