did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
