direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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