Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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