I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
