K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
