break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
