1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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