Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
