He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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