im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My liver just had a heart attack.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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