No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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