When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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