I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
