I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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