Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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