Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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