stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
