idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
