This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
