I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
