At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
