I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
