thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
