just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
