look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
