My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
