remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
