she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
