So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
