so explain again why im purple
no
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
