big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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