eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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