i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
