so explain again why im purple
no
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
