I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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