AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
