Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
